My Passion...My profession..My life....I think!!!!

Life has moved  in the fast lane....just as its got strong wind and direction....and I think...I think where,how ,what,when???
Therefore I reach a decision..conclusively bringing to one point ..work!
Work kept me busy and spinning;the systems change and people move on...we stay around and we shoulder the work.Its not my bread and butter its my passion.Always dreamed of being a teacher ...a teacher with a difference .Achieved this dream with ease as if it was my destiny .Been in the field for twenty years and haven't looked back since.Always wanted to connect with my bachas ...away from the structured way of life we were woven into.Am happy..... Am searching.... Am Learning... Am looking.... I will surge..i will emerge .... I will not give up. For I think,therefore I am!

 Ban jaane de woh phool jo tere baag kee shaan badha de.Kyun hota hai aksar yeh jeevan mein mere saath. . . Jab hoon tanhaa nahin de paata apna haath . . na koi hota sahara na koi puchta dobara.
Joojh joojh kar jab thak jaati hoon kissi ke saath ko taras jaati hoon . . Ghar aur dil ka kona soona aur khaali paati hoon. Kab hogi yeh tanhayee khatam? Kab milega mujhe mera punar janam. . .
Ya phir Milegi is jeevan raah mein tanhaiyaan.. badhaien .koi to mujhe bataade..
 Kyun hota hai aksar yeh jeevan mein mere saath. . . Jab hoon tanhaa nahin de paata apna haath . . na koi hota sahara na koi puchta dobara.

Joojh joojh kar jab thak jaati hoon kissi ke saath ko taras jaati hoon . . Ghar aur dil ka kona soona aur khaali paati hoon. Kab hogi yeh tanhayee khatam? Kab milega mujhe chain kab aayega sukoon....

Time stood still
.....she was waiting for me to say something... The toughest words in my life..words that just wouldn't get uttered. But my baby was waiting and i had to say it... Do this for her. For my Angel.i had to tell her to go.... To move on to her happy place.could there be a happier place for her than ours? Could she be happy anywhere else, Ever???
But i had to ...so I did .I had my Angel breathe her last in my arms i told her to go .go my bacha go to your happy place.....
Two years and millions of tears later now I have mustered courage to write to talk and open my wounds.. To say I miss her I love You Angel Paenjal like I love aanuu....You will always remain my baby .And
Now that I have given myself the freedom to think back on those two years , I also think what did I do so wrong to loose her thus!

She came to us as my daughter's third birthday gift from her maternal aunt.We were ecstatic about the bundle of joy we had .She blessed us for the next four and a half blissful years and took away all pain and sorrow and went her way after much suffering.
I wonder why such selfless acts are met with so much pain.I wonder why her going was necessary? I wonder what was the purpose of her short life ?was it to make us experience the joy she brought with her? Was it the lesson of life we had to learn from her? Am still searching and wondering.maybe someday like her ,i too can be an inspirational end or maybe she taught me to live in an inspired way......